Jashinist
by Air Tsukiko
Summary: Hatsuko doesn't like Hidan. Shikamaru-sensei told her stories. So what happens when she's forced to join the religion she was taught to hate? Rated M for violence and gore and lemons in later chapters.


When I was just a little girl, I had hopes and dreams of becoming someone the world knew about. Someone that people _loved._

Feh. What a dream _that_ was.

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"Mom!" I called down the stairs, eager to start my first solo mission as a chunin. "Mom! Where are my socks? Did you wash them??"

I could hear a smile in her familiar voice as she called back up, "Yeah, they're in the dryer. Come down soon, you need to eat your breakfast before you go!" The very mention of food had my stomach growling.... but I didn't exactly feel like eating once I was all packed and headed downstairs. When I sat down at the table, my insides were churning. I'd been on missions before, but always with my teammates and sensei.

"Something on your mind?" I was interrupted out of my thoughts as my mother scooped some scrambled eggs onto the plate in front of me, which was already halfway accommodated with food. "You haven't touched your bacon..."

I put a smile on my face as my stomach did a flip-flop. "Nothing, just a little excited, you know?" I picked up a piece of bacon, savoring the taste in my mouth while my appetite was still with me. "Weren't you nervous on your first solo mission?"

Mom laughed. "Heavens yes, dear, I was so nervous hat once I got outside the village walls I had to stop and barf all over my shoes. Hoo boy, every in I stayed at asked me to leave my shoes outside before I went in for the night." Hearing the story started me on laughing, easing the butterflies in my stomach into a lulling serenity.

After eating the rest of my meal, I stood up from the table, walking over to the counter and grabbing my hitai-ate. Mom was next to me the whole time, telling me important things to remember when going out on my own. I slipped the article over my head, tying it tightly to my forehead and adjusting it to make it comfortable. With a last swipe at my bangs to get them out of my face, mom leans over and kisses my cheek.

"Good luck, honey, come back safe!" I hear her call as I run out the door. The slightly cloudy day above me tells me that today is going to be a good start o my chunin life. I smile as I make my way down the flights of stairs, out the door of the apartment building and into the day ahead of me.

As I make my way down the street, I note to myself the little happenings I see every morning, as I have every morning for the better part of my life. I see the Yamanakas opening shop, and I wave to Ino-senpai as I make my way along. I have to sop though when I see her opening the door, holding something behind her back.

"Hey, Ino-senpai, what's that?" I point at her hidden hand and she smiles at me.

"Hatsuko, in congratulation of your very first solo mission, I'm going to give you a small assignment myself." She pulls a flower around from her back and holds it out to me. "For every day that you're gone, you are going to pluck one pedal off of this flower. Make it back home before you run out of pedals, okay?"

I feel the light come to my face as I take the flower, tucking it into my pack as I thank her profusely and head on my way.

When I come to the gates of Konoha, the fluttery feeling is back in my stomach and I have to slow down in order to keep from getting light-headed. As I round the last corner, I'm joined by two figures, one on either side, both of them grinning like idiots at me. I grin as well, happy that my sensei and teammate came to see me off.

"Shikamaru-sensei, I do believe Hatsuko is leaving on her first solo mission today, yes?" Haru says as he slings his arm around my shoulder. I nudge him in the ribs jokingly.

"Yes, Hatsuharu-san, I do believe she is," he says as he withdraws a cigarette from his vest pocket, lighting it and taking a drag before speaking again, the smoke blowing up into the air. "ow troublesome, my only female student is leaving the village. She'll stay out of trouble, I hope?"

I laugh. "Of course I will, sensei, I know too much _not_ to be safe." I say as we stop at the village gates. Waiting for me is the sixth hokage, Sakura-sensei, and my other teammate, Hatsuharu's twin brother, Rei. When I'm just a few feet away from either of them, I bow low and deep.

"So just o go over it again-" Hokage-sama starts, but is interrupted when Sakura elbowed him in the ribs.

"Naruto, c'mon! She's been training under me _and_ Shikamaru, there's no way she'll forget her mission if she was trained by the two smartest minds of Konoha." She smiles at me with the same fondness as my mother did when I left the door this morning. I smile back, careful not to let anyone sense my nervousness.

Naruto snorted. "Yeah, well, if you two are the smartest, why don't you two just marry each other, eh?"

"You baka, I'm married to _you._"

".....Oh _yeah...._"

While Sakura is scolding Naruto, I turn to Shikamaru-sensei, waiting for him to take the last drag off his cigarette before talking to me. "Now Hatsuko, you be very careful on this mission. There's a lot of dangerous things that can happen when protecting a wealthy man-"

"Oi, I know, I know. But I also know all your jutsus, so I'll catch them by surprise!" My voice is full of excitement; the butterflies in my stomach are starting to calm down.

He smiles a bit and rubs the top of my head. "Alright, kiddo, make your sensei proud."

After saying goodbye to my small sendoff party I exit through the gates of Konoha, finally calming down after I hear the -click- of he gates closing. I sigh with relief before shifting my pack on my back and starting off into the morning.

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Before I know it, I'm completely exhausted and so thankful when I see a town just a few miles ahead. Hopefully, there's an inn I can say at for the night. As I make my way through the woods, I hear my stomach grumble. I must work through my rations once I get into the inn. The sky around me dimmed long ago, so my eyes are already used to the darkness. I smirk as I feel he wind whipping through my hair, my feet just ever so lightly tapping against the branches of trees as I pass through the wooded area, the exhilaration rushing through my veins like blood as my heart beats.

Finally the trees end and I'm in the middle of the road, walking and making my way into to the small town. The lights are all on, and there's a few inns all standing next to each other in the middle of the small town. As I walk into the town, passing its people in their stalls selling goods. So this is a night town, eh?

As I think and walk through the stalls, someone suddenly catches my eye and I'm torn out of my thoughts by his mere appearance. He looks young, about in his mid-twenties, though he ha white-silver hair, slicked back to keep it out of his face. I notice that he's got a triple-bladed scythe strapped to his back, the red handle standing out amongst the backdrop of his black cloak patterned with red clouds. The front of the cloak is open, revealing his bare chest and a pendant attached to a beaded chain. The pendant has the shape of an upside-down triangle inside a circle, and that's what catches my attention the most. Where have I seen that symbol before?

I catch myself staring at him as he makes his way through and can't help but follow him. I know I've seen the pattern on the cloak before, but I can't be true....

I thought all the Akatsuki were dead?

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I follow him through the stalls, making sure to stay far enough away that he won't notice me. While following him I learn that he has a foul mouth, is one for bargaining, and is also eerily intent on holding his rosary (I also learned that it's a rosary) to his lips and praying to it, making me also wonder what kind of god he believes in. Finally, when the moon is high up into the sky, "we" leave the stalls and head toward an inn, myself still following behind by about twenty feet. He ducks through a doorway and into the nearest inn, a sign above he door reading _The Goose Lodge Inn. _I wait a little bit before entering the inn myself, taking in my surroundings. The lobby is empty, save for the middle-aged man behind the counter cribbing on a clip board. The atmosphere in here is musty, little dust motes floating around in the air, and there's a fireplace glowing off in the corner of the room throwing dark shadows of the furniture on the walls, which are lined with metal folding chairs, probably for nights when the lobby is full and people need to sit down.

I walk up to the man at the counter. "How much for a room?" I ask, reaching around for the pocket in my pack that holds all my money. The man looks up at me through half-lidded eye for a moment before holding up a finger and returning to scribbling on the clipboard. I stand there, leaning slightly on the counter and waiting as the sound of the fire crackling off in the corner meshing with the scribbling of the pen on the paper.

Finally I hear the small -clank- of the pen being set down, and look to see the man holding out a hand to me. "Thirty dollars for one night, thirty-five for bed-and-breakfast."

Breakfast sounds good already, so I nod and pull out a small bundle of money and extracting enough to place in his hand. The fingers close around the money, they themselves being worn and wrinkled with age. He counts the money in his hand for a moment before putting it all in a small box behind he counter and handing me a key. "Room D, see you in the morning, enjoy your stay." And with that he turns back to his clipboard and continues with his writing.

I thank the man and head up the old stairs leading me away from the lobby and to my room. The stairs are old wooden ones that creak with eery step I take, reminding me of the old house I used to live at. I turn once I reach the landing, into a hallway with doors about fifteen feet apart from each other. I walk down the hallway, soon reaching room D at the very end. As I enter the room, an overwhelming sense of _tacky_ fills my senses. This place looks like a dorm room at the college back in Konoha, a small bed in the corner, a desk on the other side of the room with a small lamp on it. The walls are a happy olive green, matching the bed's crisp red sheets absolutely horribly. I shrug, figuring it's the best I could get, probably, in this one-horse town. I walk over to the bed and sit down, sighing with relief at the softness of the mattress. Sleep sounds so inviting that just thinking about it I feel my mind fog up. Looking down at myself, I see my clothes as adequate sleeping attire and lay back in the bed, pulling my pack up and rummaging through for a few seconds before finding my food.

And as I sit there and eat my food, I listen to the sounds of the night through my open window, I listen to the commotion coming from the room next door....wait a second. I sit up and listen to the voice a little more closely, stepping off the bed and pressing my ear against the opposite wall o hear better.

"Jashin, god of slaughter, god of pain and ecstasy, bless me with the power to rid the world of those who don't believe in you, the divine god, those heathens who shall all perish one your divine judgment is passed upon thee..." I can't believe my ears. So _this_ is Hidan?! The man who Shikamaru-sensei had despised with his whole being, the man who killed Asuma-sama all those years ago? I thought Sensei had killed him.... I continue listening to his prayer, for what seems like hours on end before I shuffle around a bit, shifting my weight to the other foot and pressing myself against the wall a lite too loudly.

Suddenly, the prayer stops. I hear shuffling for a moment, then...

Something is pressed against the wall, right in front of where my body should be. I freeze, my breath hitching slightly as Hidan listens in on my side of the wall. I hold my breath as long as I an, as long as I can stand it but it's just so hard...!

All my breath comes out in a big gust of air. Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit. Shit on a stick!

The weight shifts away from the wall and I hear some faint muttering for a moment before, out of the corner of my eye, I see the curtain of my window rustle with movement that shouldn't be there.

"Tch, fucking bitch. What the hell do you think you're doing, listening t me pray, eh?!" I'm blindsided and thrown onto the floor with a force enough to make me see stars, and before I gather my mind together enough to pull myself up I'm thrown into the wall, a black spot appearing in my vision and I have to struggle o lose consciousness right there. "It's really fucking annoying hat I have to deal with damn heathens listening on on my private shit, seriously."

I'm pinned to the wall, held up only by Hidan's arm gripping my shoulder so hard I can already feel the bruise forming. I let out a small groan, his grip tightening on my shoulder when my knees start shaking. I want to go back to bed. I want to go to sleep, I want to wake up from this painful dream.

"Tch." I focus my vision on his face. He has he most sadistic smirk on his face, one that makes my blood run cold like ice water, his voice so cold and terrifying that I want to cry. "I think it's been a while since I converted anyone. I think Jashin-sama would like a new disciple." Ugh, what's he talking about? I can barely hear him, my head hurts so badly....

Suddenly his weight leaves me, and I slide onto the floor in a painful boneless heap. Please, God, let this be over... the fog in my mind is so overwhelming. I hear shuffling coming from my bed, then my eyes focus again. Hidan's crouched by my side, muttering prayers under his breath as he lifts my hand. A kunai slides across my skin, cutting deep into my flesh and drawing a think red stream of my blood. The burning feeling the kunai leaves behind is different from every pain I've ever felt before, it has a tingling sensation behind it that makes me shiver as I watch.

It's so hard for my mouth to form the words. "P-please..." I whimper, I want this to end already. I attempt to squirm away from him, but his grip holds my arm and movement is impossible.

The blood drips from my arm and onto the floor, creating dark spots on the wood. The drip grow larger and larger, the smell of the blood thick in my nostrils. He watches the blood drop for a moment before using three fingers to draw the same symbol around me that is worn n the pendant on his neck.

What's happening to me?

It's so sudden that the force of it makes my breathing hitch. I'm wide awake, every sense focused so sharply that it almost scares me. In my arm, however, the pain intensifies, into a burning feeling that makes me squirm.

I hear Hidan laugh next to me. "Quit your whining, will ya? As much as I fucking love to cause pain and suffering to people, you're bring down my mood, seriously." my wrist is lifted to his mouth. His lips attach over a part of my wound, and the pain intensifies even more so that the burning has turned into a crushing, burning, white-hot intensity that makes me scream. My back arches and I squirm and thrash and kick at him, but to no avail, my vision blurs again and it becomes hard for me to move.

"_Stop! Please~!"_ I beg, and I know I'm crying because I can feel the tears going down my face and _I just want this to stop._

I hear him chuckle as he pulls away and when I'm forced to look over at him I see that his skin has changed, a deep black covering his body and white where his bones should be. Now I know it, I'm going to die, I'm going to die, those words play over and over into my head and I'm back to crying again. My thoughts flash to that flower in my pack, the one that Ino gave me, and I think about how I'll never be able to return and I can't even get the first peal off the flower. What a failure I must be.

He continues muttering as he slides the kunai across his own skin, and it happens again, my vision intensifies into clear water again and I watch as his wrist extends towards my own face, lightly brushing my tired lips.

"Drink." He commands, his voice low and velvety in tone and it would soothe me if I didn't know who it is who's doing this to me. I ignore his command and turn my head away, the sudden movement making me dizzy again. He grunts in slight annoyance and uses his hand to direct my face toward his again. He brings the free hand up to his own lips, pausing slightly to speak to me. "You're no going to drink willingly, are you, damned heathen?" I blink, staying silent in protest as I glare at him. His expression becomes more annoyed as he suckles slightly on his own wound. When he pulls his mouth away I can see by his slightly ballooned cheeks that he hasn't swallowed yet.

Keeping my face in place is a hard thing for him to o without swallowing as his head extends towards mine, forcing our lips to meet. I don't want to do this, I don't want to do this, dammit! I try to push away, I try t keep my mouth closed, and I think I'm winning until I feel him grunt again, his fist pulling back and suddenly swinging into impact with my stomach. I gasp, and suddenly the taste of blood fills my mouth as he pours it in there with his own. I try to spit it out, but he holds my mouth closed by holding his hand under my chin and keeping his lips over mine. His thumb runs up and down my throat, trying to calm my muscles into swallowing the copper-tasting liquid. In order to keep from swallowing, I breathe through my nose in hopes to wait until he pulls away to spit out the vile liquid, but he all too soon realizes my plan and clamps his thumb and forefinger down on my nose. Still I squirm and kick and thrash, but it seems that for every move I make he already knows how to counter it, and soon I'm pinned to the floor, the disgusting liquid still in my mouth, him straddling me and still trying to make me swallow. I can feel myself grow lightheaded, I don't want to lose consciousness against this man bu at the same time I don't want to swallow for fear of what could possibly happen to me.

He pulls his lips away from mine just enough so that I can't spit it out just yet, glaring into my eyes with his own. "Swallow." Again with the commands? Hell no. I refuse. I do not concede. I glare right back, screaming my thoughts into his own head as if he can hear me.

But my lungs are still screaming for air, and I can feel my chest burning and my vision is starting to blur again. It seems that conceding is my only choice right now.

Closing my eyes and swallowing this awful stuff is the hardest thing I can ever do, but I do it anyway, feeling the red warm coppery liquid slide down my throat, the taste still left behind in my mouth. I hate this. I don't like this at all. I want this to stop. Please, please please please just let this be a dream.

But I know it's not, because I an feel everything, I can feel the pain in my arm still, I can feel he blood churning around in my stomach, and I want to throw up as it mixes with my rations that I had packed.

His weight stays on top of me, and when I open my eyes his body is still its strange color, and his hand moves to clasp at his rosary. I look down at the thing, and soon it comes closer to my face, closer, closer, until it hovers just above my forehead. I hear him mutter under his breath some more, and the pendant just barely makes contact with my forehead.

My breath hitches and everything goes black around me, my whole world, and I drift and feel myself grow limp. I know I am dead now, I have to be, because death would be he best thing right now. I pray for it, I long for it, I wish for death to come and take me.

But it doesn't.

Instead, the blackness around me becomes lighter, and my whole body is filled with pleasure unimaginable, all in one great floodgate and my mouth falls open and I'm unable to utter a word as my back arches and I squirm and I am rendered immobile again.

An just as suddenly as it came it's gone, and I'm falling into reality again, and I'm not dead, but I feel awake.

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After what seems like forever, I open my eyes, and everything is clear and sharp and I look around at my surroundings, seeing Hidan sitting against the wall next to me, watching me. His skin color is normal again. He's holding his rosary to his lips uttering prayers under his breath as he watches me. We're no longer in the hotel room, we're in the woods, there's a small fire in front of us. I sit up automatically, scooting away from him and to the other side of the fire, but it's a hard process to complete. Why is my body so heavy?

His eyes follow me as I move, watching every little thing I do, as if waiting for me to notice something. I think I already ave noticed it, I just don't want to acknowledge it. There's a new rosary attached me a chain around my neck, it swings around every time I move, and by the time I make my way away from him I notice that my appearance has changed, my hair is now as silvery-white as his. Does that mean my eyes have changed too?

I'm finally across from him now, up into a defensive crouch, waiting for any signs telling me that I should run. I know I should already, but I'm waiting for something.

But nothing happens, he just continues praying, leaving me alone as he keeps watch over me. After a while I sink to the ground and hold my head in my hands. Why can't I just leave?

As if Hidan knows my thoughts, he answers my question.

"Tch, it's because you're a Jashinist now."

I lift my head and stare at him for a long moment. "Huh?"

"You're a Jashinist. You don't know how the religion works just yet, though, do until you do I have to babysit your whiny ass the whole time and teach you all this shit."

I don't believe it. I won't. I glare at him. "No."

You can't just say no." he counters. "If you go or too long without making a sacrifice to Jashin-sama, there will be consequences to pay."

"I don't care. I refuse." I stand up, forcing my legs to work and propel me away from him. And soon I'm flying again, flying through the woods and looking for a way out. I know he's behind me, I can hear him cursing at me, but I ignore him and keep going, though I know in the back of my head that he's just going to follow me. But I don't care. I don't care about anything anymore. I don't care about some stupid mission, I don't care about a warlord that needs to be protected. I don't care about the man back at the hotel, the flower that Ino gave me, nor do I care about whatever happened to my pack. I just want to go home and sleep in my own bed and enjoy lazy days with Shikamaru-sensei and Hatsuharu and Rei. I don't care if I'm a failure, I just want to get away and go home and never come back, never leave again. I don't want to be a ninja anymore. I'll just be like mom and settle down, stop it with the ninja business.

I know I'm crying again, I just know I am, because I can feel my nose starting to run and I can see my eyes starting to water up but I don't stop running, I just don't, I want to go home and never leave again. Everything will be back to normal and I can quit being a ninja and be left alone.

I keep running, even when my eyes become so blurry that I start tripping over things, even when I know Hidan's right next to me, I just keep running because I just have to run, I have to get away, I just have to. I'm not a Jashinist, I tell myself, I'm not a damned murderer, I'm not a Jashinist, I will never be one, I refuse to be one. And I still run, I run as far as I can go, and even after that I run, I run even after my body screams at me for sleep, I run for hours, and hours more, and I keep on running, even though I'm crying and sobbing and Hidan's still running alongside me as if nothing's wrong. I run until the sun rises, and I keep on running until the sun sets, and I know I'm slowing down because I can feel my mind starting to fog up again, I can feel sleep thrashing in the back of my mind trying to escape and overcome me, but I don't want to let it, I just want to go home.

I trip over one last branch, and this time I can feel myself falling again, and I let myself fall, back into the darkness of sleep, and the last image I see before the blackness engulfs me completely is Hidan, jumping down after me.

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Kay, that's like the first chappy..... I hope you guys like it, R&R!!!


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